Everyone takes classes in school for various academic subjects, but also for useful skills like shop and home economics. Unfortunately, no one ever teaches young people how to present themselves in important business or social settings, despite the fact that these can be tremendously important in determining eventual success in life. Fortunately, all those under-educated graduates can put a capstone on their years by reading books on small talk.
Some people just have a natural gift for light conversation, and never seem fail at being just interesting enough for the occasion. These are often people who were raised in good families, which brings up the point that conversational skill is often an upper class attribute few people enjoy. Much of the advantage of attending all the right schools has nothing to do with academics, and everything to do with socialization.
Many people have the intelligence and ability to succeed, but are held back in subtle ways because of their blue collar manners. Such people are nearly a stock character in old novels. They are the just-arrived wealthy who are disliked by the old money types who party at the Hamptons, but who are just too powerful to avoid completely. Characters like this are immediately marked by their unsophisticated conversation.
It isn't difficult to imagine, or for that matter simply recall, situations in which it is to one's advantage to be able to make light conversation. An obvious example is dating, which includes everything from an effective flirtation in a movie line to give and take during an actual date. It includes everything from flirting to pick up lines.
Business also affords a variety of circumstances in which one's ability to make conversation might make all the difference. There are any number of wealthy people whose big break came when they charmed the right person during a random elevator ride. There are also those obvious occasions, such as a job interview, or entertaining a potential client.
Most of us remember social occasions which seemed lightly festive at first, but were rife with conflict and intrigue just under the surface. Something as innocent as an art opening can be quite nearly a battlefield if one is an ambitious young painter. However, in such a setting it is wise not to parade one's ambition, but to affect a casual attitude.
The jokes have to be funny, but not scandalous, and by all means, not familiar. It is important to be interested in a wide range of topics, but not fanatical or passionate about any of them. A good rule of thumb is to hold within oneself a desire to make each person one encounters pleased to have done so.
It is equally important not to overlook those who do not obviously offer whatever one is looking for. Socialize broadly and unhurriedly, enjoying all types of people, not just the best placed or prettiest. Conversational skills are about building networks of associates, and one measures success at party by whether one gets invited to others.
Some people just have a natural gift for light conversation, and never seem fail at being just interesting enough for the occasion. These are often people who were raised in good families, which brings up the point that conversational skill is often an upper class attribute few people enjoy. Much of the advantage of attending all the right schools has nothing to do with academics, and everything to do with socialization.
Many people have the intelligence and ability to succeed, but are held back in subtle ways because of their blue collar manners. Such people are nearly a stock character in old novels. They are the just-arrived wealthy who are disliked by the old money types who party at the Hamptons, but who are just too powerful to avoid completely. Characters like this are immediately marked by their unsophisticated conversation.
It isn't difficult to imagine, or for that matter simply recall, situations in which it is to one's advantage to be able to make light conversation. An obvious example is dating, which includes everything from an effective flirtation in a movie line to give and take during an actual date. It includes everything from flirting to pick up lines.
Business also affords a variety of circumstances in which one's ability to make conversation might make all the difference. There are any number of wealthy people whose big break came when they charmed the right person during a random elevator ride. There are also those obvious occasions, such as a job interview, or entertaining a potential client.
Most of us remember social occasions which seemed lightly festive at first, but were rife with conflict and intrigue just under the surface. Something as innocent as an art opening can be quite nearly a battlefield if one is an ambitious young painter. However, in such a setting it is wise not to parade one's ambition, but to affect a casual attitude.
The jokes have to be funny, but not scandalous, and by all means, not familiar. It is important to be interested in a wide range of topics, but not fanatical or passionate about any of them. A good rule of thumb is to hold within oneself a desire to make each person one encounters pleased to have done so.
It is equally important not to overlook those who do not obviously offer whatever one is looking for. Socialize broadly and unhurriedly, enjoying all types of people, not just the best placed or prettiest. Conversational skills are about building networks of associates, and one measures success at party by whether one gets invited to others.
No comments:
Post a Comment