Saturday 3 August 2013

Dealing With Domestic Abuse Stories

By Maryanne Goff


If you work in a field where you offer guidance, counseling, and advice to people who have domestic abuse stories to tell, make sure that you know some really important pointers on how the task is supposed to get done. This is a very sensitive field that you are working in. So, making sure that you know exactly how to better handle the experiences of these people matters a lot.

It always matters a lot that you know exactly what it is that you have to do to better assist and support them. Remember that what they had to go through is not really something that they may be that willing to tell you or the other people around them. Many with these experiences would prefer keeping things to themselves. So, having a really good notion on how to handle them is essential.

Many people who had this same ordeal in the past always find it hard to talk about them because of the fact that they are afraid of the stigma that is often associated with the experience. They often seem to think that somehow, they were at fault as to why these things happened to them. Hence, making sure that you will consider these factors is always critical.

Lend to them your ears. They need understanding. They need acceptance. More than anything they want somebody who can listen to them and lend them an understanding ear. Many people who have gone through these ordeals then have actually expressed how appreciative they often are to have people who genuinely want to listen to what they have to say.

Do not judge them. Sure, you can go ahead and do that, but do not expect them to be back the next day. You want to be the instrument to help them get back on their knees again. Yes, they have fallen so hard. Yes, there might be instances when the things that happened to them happened because they were a little weak then. But it is not for you to judge them so.

Explain to them how they will actually heal in time. Of course, there is no such thing as a formula that you can use to tell them when they are going to heal completely or when the pain will completely stop. Every person has a different coping mechanisms than the other. They have different ways to recover from such experience that the next one beside them. Just tell them to take their time.

Offer encouragements. Egg them on. Tell them that their life definitely did not stop when they were abused by their better halves. Tell them that their coming forward and coming to terms with everything that has happened to them is their new beginning. Explain to them that now is about the best time for them to get on with their lives and show to those who abused them before what they really are worth of.

Advise people with domestic abuse stories to join a support group. Somehow, it is always easier for these individuals to get back on their two feet again when they have other people who understand them most to support them. They will find too, that the encouragement of the people who experienced the same thing is going to make it easier for them to heal along the way.




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